If Motivation Were a Person, I'd File a Missing Persons Report

Last seen: January 1st, 8:03am

Wearing: A “New Year, New Me” hoodie and a wildly unrealistic to-do list

Responds to: Coffee, compliments, and Beyoncé playlists

It all started so well. Motivation showed up bright and early with a fresh planner, a color-coded schedule, and the audacity to suggest I become a morning person. For a few magical hours, we were unstoppable. I meal prepped. I stretched. I even said things like, “Let’s tackle this head-on!”

But by 2:37pm, Motivation casually ghosted me like a bad Tinder date.

I’ve checked everywhere:

• My vision board? Nope.

• That productivity podcast I swore I’d listen to? Just crickets.

• The bottom of my laundry pile? Only socks and shame.

The Suspects:

• Netflix: Found loitering suspiciously around 9pm every night.

• My Phone: Caught red-handed showing me cat videos instead of calendar reminders.

• Snacks: Always nearby. Always enabling.

I’ve tried everything to lure Motivation back. New pens. Fresh notebooks. Even rearranged my workspace like I was auditioning for a home office makeover show. Still nothing.

So what now?

Well, I’ve decided if Motivation won’t show up—I’ll show up without it. I’ll lean on routine, reminders, and that stubborn little part of me that refuses to give up even when I’d really rather scroll TikTok.

Because the truth is, Motivation is flaky. But consistency? She may not be flashy, but she’s always on time.

If you happen to see Motivation, tell her I said, “No hard feelings… but she owes me a call.”